Our travel itinerary makes me realize the wisdom of my
husband who voted against having the twelve children I hoped for when we
married. Apparently he had never read Cheaper
by the Dozen, the book by Frank B. Gilbreth that led me to this improbable desire
for a large family.
It was only natural I would formulate my view of family
through a book. I was a less than athletic child, born to a quiet, bookish man,
living with just one sibling in a house a block from a branch of the public
library. Books opened doors into exotic worlds and made me an intimate of
people I would never meet. I borrowed the personalities of a hundred main
characters, fell in and out of love countless times, survived grueling poverty
and luxuriated in extravagant wealth all while hidden away in a closet. (The
inclination of a mother not to disturb a reading child only goes so far
when there are chores to be done.)
There are certain advantages to a life lived between the
covers of a feel-good book like Cheaper
by the Dozen. In this enviable, family, the problems are based on solvable
misunderstandings and not real life issues like having too little money to feed
so many mouths. The parenting conflicts don’t lead to separation and divorce.
The children, victims of scant quality time, do not escape to drugs, gangs or
teen pregnancy. The mother manages multiple pregnancies, a huge home and twelve
energetic children without being haggard or alcoholic. Having two full time
maids probably helps with this last observation.
Once my husband explained we would never have two full time
maids, even if we had twelve children, I accepted his desire for a smaller
family. We stopped after giving birth to four. (Many other children we call our
own will have to be the focus of a different post.)
But patience won the day, dreams came true, and I won. With
the addition of another son, two daughters and five grandchildren, our family
has grown to the even dozen I always wanted. The way it worked out, we only
have to feed them on holiday occasions. We have stayed married long enough to
pass parenting issues to the next generation. There are few family squabbles,
the adults are successful and the children are thriving. Now if we can just get
those two full time maids…
In January our family grows to thirteen. Can anyone
recommend a book that extols the virtues of family equal to a baker’s dozen?
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