Some dads show their children how to hunt and fish. Others teach
them how to shoot hoops or pitch a ball. My husband did neither of those things,
which was okay because he taught them other things. He taught more by example
than instruction. He led them to a great
appreciation for books, music, hard work, travel, adventure, and hospitality.
He also imprinted his own obsessive love for M&M’s in the DNA of each of
our children.
It is only natural then, that in addition to the five
languages of love named by Gary Chapman, our family added a sixth. Right up
there with words of affirmation and quality time, we considered M&M’s a
language all its own. It was the perfect way to say thank you, to apologize or
just to say I love you.
So it was with tender affection that our high school son
handed his three-year-old sister a bag of M&M’s when he came home after
school. I’m not sure why he had them, but I know that as much as he loved
M&M’s, he loved his little sister more. He was responsible enough to tell
her she could eat them after dinner.
If ever there was an instruction to challenge, this was the
one. What did big brother know? Perhaps Daddy would give her a different
answer. When that didn’t work, she tried Mommy. The answer was the same. “Wait
until after dinner. It won’t be long now. It’s almost ready.”
The blonde ringlets that had been bouncing up and down as
she careened from person to person stopped bouncing as she sat quietly on the
sofa in apparent acceptance of the decision. It looked as if at any moment the
curls themselves would hang straight in silent solidarity with her disappointment. The
solitude lingered while the rest of the family went back to homework, the
evening news and dinner preparations, glad the decision had been accepted and
the situation forgotten.
“I’ve been thinking,” said the small voice from the sofa to
her daddy across the room. “What is it, dear?” he replied. “I don’t ever want
to grow up,” she said. “Why not?” he asked.
“I want to be just like Peter Pan and live in Never Never Land,” she explained earnestly.
“May I be just like Peter Pan and not grow up?” “Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you
want.” He smiled, knowing nature would take its course.
She continued, “But I’m worried about dinner. You know how
eating good food makes me grow big and strong? Well, if I don’t want to grow
up, then I need to stop eating dinner. Do I have to eat my dinner?”
It was easy for Daddy to agree even to this. After all, he
knew that when the time came to eat, she would be hungry. So he said, “Of
course not. Not if you don’t want to.” “Well then, if I’m not going to eat
dinner so I can be like Peter Pan and live in Never Never Land, I'll just go ahead and eat my
M&M’s.”
The thinking of this charming but crafty child reflects the
attitude of many who are spiritually Peter Pan. They don’t want to mature—not
if it means giving up the titillating sweets of worldly pleasure. Not if it
means walking away from shallow thinking to pursue the meat of God’s word. The
easy camaraderie of temporal companions is more tempting than pressing on to
know God more fully.
If we are ready to move on from our spiritual Never Never Land, then
we must consciously seek the things that nourish our souls. We must put away
childish thinking and allow the Spirit who convicts of wrong and leads aright
to grow us up. We must read God’s word so we can know his heart. We must plead
God’s word and let its truth feed our hearts. We must heed God’s word
so we can reflect Christ’s heart. In this matter of the heart, we must let his Spirit
grow us up.
For even though
by this time you ought to be teaching others, you actually need someone to
teach you over again the very first principles of God’s Word. You have come to
need milk, not solid food. For everyone who continues to feed on milk is
obviously inexperienced and
unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in
purpose, thought, and action), for he is a mere infant [not able to talk yet]! But
solid food is for full-grown men, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by
practice to discriminate and
distinguish between what is morally good and
noble and what is evil and
contrary either to divine or human law. (Hebrews 5:12-14 Amplified)
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